Who are the Crets
The Crets are group of guys most of whom were at Warwick University together in the early
eighties. There are one or two other people who have become honorary Crets but this
is a distinction not bestowed lightly. The name Crets is short for cretins - it's a
student joke, which has vastly outlived its natural lifespan.
Every year the hardcore crets get together for a holiday somewhere and indulge in
the sort of juvenile behaviour sensible adults aren't allowed to enjoy. Yep, that
means we've been behaving badly for twenty-odd years now, and we can heartily
recommend it. You're only young once, but you can be juvenile as often as you like.
So get out there and act your shoe size from time to time.
Most of the Crets live in England, though we do have one member living in
Japan and another in Canada. Three of the Crets are married, one of them lives
with his girlfriend, two of them have no permanent girlfriends and one of them
has now given up shagging barmaids. Have a look at the photos and see
if you can guess which is which?
Jimbo is one of the original Crets, and has the distinction to
be the only Cret to survive six years at Warwick and complete a PhD in
Chemistry. He was the Dungeon Master for our first D&D campaign, in which
characters were lucky to survive to second level. For the geeky folks out there,
imagine a low level character trying to fend of a Khargra which is intent on
eating his armour and his sword.
Simon, another of the original Crets, studied Maths at Warwick and almost got a
first, but not quite. He has been renowned for his card playing skills after
winning a mammoth game of nine card brag in Ireland. He's also well known for
his excellent navigation.
Nick is another original, surviving three years in the Chemistry department at Warwick.
He is the most sensible of the Crets and is noted for always doing the washing up.
The best way to annoy Nick is to sneak out and put all the washing up in the dishwasher...
Another survivor of the Chemistry department, Keith is probably the most techie of the Crets.
Keith is noted for his huge appetite, so never share a Chinese meal with him unless he
gives you a decent head start. Oh, and you never need to ask, "Who ate all the pies?" when
he's at the table.
The final survivor of the
Chemistry department is Rich. Rich wins a medal for being the most slothful of
Crets. He is reputed to be happy to stay in bed until lunchtime, then spend an
hour on the bog before going to the pub.
Dave did some kind of half-arsed management degree at Warwick. He is definitely Sporty Cret, being a regular
hockey player and waaay fitter than the rest of us. Dave is also infamous for his massive appetite
for spaghetti bolognese. We have seen him eat his own massive plateful, then consume half of Simon's portion.
Dave isnt a Warwick graduate, but we dont hold this against him. Dave used to be Boozy Cret,
drinking more in a week than most people do in a month. But last we heard he'd
cut down a little and was sober for several consecutive days last year.
Jackie (aka Mrs Bignose)
Jackie has been 'elevated' to temporary Cretdom for a couple of days during the
annual Crets holiday. She's survived being married to Bignose since 1988 which
is a massive achievement in itself. However her temporary elevation is mostly
because she's capable of being just as juvenile as the rest of us.
Honorary Crets
There have been several honorary Crets who have
attended one or two holidays. Dave Mitchell was another Chemistry graduate who survived
to complete a PhD. He attended a couple of the early holidays. Paul Marjoram, a mathematician from
Warwick, brought his planet-sized brain along for the Ireland holiday.
