This year the Crets holiday took us to the Wiltshire village of Market
Lavington, which is pretty much a stereotypical english village. There's one general
store, one butchers shop, a tiny marketplace, a church and three pubs.
All within five minutes walk of Barnhill House.
Barnhill house is quite modern with a slightly scandinavian feel to it. There's lots of varnished pine inside and even a sauna, though we didn't get round to using it. Unusually, the living room is on the first floor and has a covered balcony overlooking the garden. Being Crets we would be spending most of our time in the kitchen/diner, closer to the beer filled fridge.
Barnhill House was a Friday to Friday let, and by Friday evening everyone except Bignose had arrived. The Yetman had volunteered to do some shopping and arrived with some food and masses of booze - perfect! So it only remained to choose a game. Agricola has zoomed up the BGG rankings so when Dowsell turned up with a copy we just had to give it a try. It took the whole evening to play, partly because the rules were unfamiliar, but mostly because we were drinking like fishes.
Saturday morning was pretty relaxed for everyone except Nick who managed to perform the obligatory breaking of a glass. Apparently it jumped out of the cupboard!!. Once Rich had surfaced it was time to head for Pewsey station and collect Bignose. Amazingly, the train was exactly on time, so Bignose arrived just in time for a pub lunch.
With a quorum of Crets it was time check out the pubs in Market Lavington. First stop, the Kings Arms. Where we were greeted by locked doors and a sign which read, "We are in the udder pub". Hmm.... not too promising on a Saturday lunchtime.
So, onwards to the Drummer Boy where there's a banner hanging outside reading, "Save Rod & Sandy". Curious, but in we go. This looks like a normal pub - the doors are open and there are a few regulars hanging about. A significant improvement on the Kings Arms, especially when the Dowsell discovers they have the local cider "Black Rat" on tap. Unfortunately, the kitchen is closed so we can't get any lunch here.
With only one pub left to try we were getting a little concerned. Fortunately, the Green Dragon was entirely suitable having all the vital ingredients for a Cret pub - beer, cider and toasted sarnies. They also had wireless internet! Later in the week Dowsell and Nicklebum would be found propping up the bar and surfing the web on their laptops.
The weather was unexpectedly good so in two minutes we were out in the garden enjoying the September sunshine and frightening their chickens. Yep -they had chickens in a cage at the bottom of the garden. Unfortunately they weren't for eating, so we couldn't pop in on Sunday and say, "I want that one..."
Subsequent research (at the bar) revealed that the Kings Arms had closed a few weeks ago and the Drummer Boy would be closing on Wednesday because of a dispute between the tenant and the brewery. So much for having three pubs within crawling distance of the house.
After lunch we needed to go shopping because Rich's original booze pile was shrinking at a frightening rate. Devizes was a short drive away and was able to provide all pretty much everything we needed. Ingredients for spagetti bolognese, chilli con carne and grilled gammon (the Cret staples) plus masses of booze. Final reckoning, food under 100 quid, booze over 150 quid. One guess which ran out first!
While we were travelling around the area we also noticed something of a pattern to the pub names in Wiltshire. There were lots of military and royalist pubs. After a bit of head scratching we realised that it was probably because there are lots of military establishments around Salisbury plain and consequently many of the pubs had been owned by retired soldiers.
On Sunday we decided to try out the Black Rat cider before the Drummer Boy closed. Black Rat is a cloudy brew which was almost fluorescent in the sunlight. Sadly the flavour didn't match up to the appearance and was deemed unremarkable. The glasses on the other hand were quite nice so one of the Crets pilfered a couple. Then back to the Green Dragon for lunch...
After a beery lunch what else is there for Crets to do but get the frisbee out?? And of course it's only a matter of time before it gets stuck in the 10' high hedge and has to be dislodged with the aid of Dowsell's tripod.
With beery enthusiasm spent it was time for a game of Power Grid. The Korea map is interesting because there are two markets for fuel, and of course there are no nukes in North Korea! This was followed by a real blast from the past, Warlock. We played Warlock to death about 20 years ago when we only owned a dozen board games between us. Not much strategy, but lots of really great spells like, "Turn to Stone", "Gorgon Stare" and "Defence Screen".
For no readily apparent reason, 2008 really was a binge drinking holiday. We were regularly downing three pints with lunch, and hitting the government's recommended 21 units well before bedtime. Despite this we still managed several day trips around the area, and not just to buy more alcohol.
Wiltshire must have been an economic powerhouse during the new stone age. (I bet they didn't have banks stuffing up their economy with bad debt!!) As well as Stonehenge and Avebury there are masses of barrows, hill forts and burial sites. We were spoilt for choice, but eventually decided that our first trip should be to Avebury.
First stop - the Red Lion of course!! Quaff a couple of beers before strolling round the stones. Then back to the pub for more beer and a spot of lunch. All rather pleasant for what must be a dreadful tourist trap in the summer.
I'm sure the best way to see Avebury is from a balloon around sunset on a still summer evening. But tromping round the earthworks with your mates after a couple of beers on a sunny autumn day comes a reasonable second.
Brackers left early on Tuesday, to resume his position as thumb support and the rest of us headed out to Stonehenge because, erm... well, because it was there.
About 5000 years ago somebody had the great idea that what Wiltshire needed was a tourist attraction. Or as the archaeologists would describe it, "a pilgrimage site". You can imagine Ugg the Caveman and some proto-salesman sitting around disussing what to build...
"Hey Ugg, how about we make you a great big hill?" "Naah, that neanderthal at Silbury's already got one." "Well, I can do you a great deal on a white horse." "No way! White horses are just so 3100BC." "OK, how about some really, really, big rocks..."
These days Stonehenge is classic conveyor belt tourism. Arrive, pay, walk round, exit through the shop, get back on the bus. Even after staffing and maintenance costs English Heritage must be making an absolute mint from the admission fees. Despite this Stonehenge is still a really impressive monument, though getting a photo without tourists in it is difficult.
After all that fresh air it was time for a pint of lunch. So we get back into the Dowsett-mobile (oh no, not again!) and head for Salisbury. The Dowsell-mobile is a three litre Mondeo estate with shiny leather upholstry and sports suspension. That's great for the people in the front seats, but in the back everybody slides into a heap whenever he chucks it round a corner. And,the the Cret on the bottom of the pile can find parts of his anatomy crammed into the ashtray.
We were expecting some trouble finding our way into Salisbury, but the GPS worked fine and before long we were wandering through the town in the general direction of the cathedral.
We strolled round the outside of the cathedral and through a free exhibition in the cloisters, but baulked at paying the 'suggested' admission fee. Or maybe the call of the beer was just too strong. Anyhow, before long we were settled in the Old Ale House enjoying a pint and some unhealthy pub food. After lunch we needed to do a spot more shopping. Apparently we were running out of beer again! Personally, I suspect Brackers drank it all before he left! :-)
After a whole morning of culture there was only thing for Crets to do - back to the house for some board games and an attack on the beer pile. We played Canal Mania, and the Yetman got comprehensively stuffed. Partly because we mis-read the rules on drawing routes, but mostly because he just kept on drawing 'Stretch' cards.
So far our days out have gone pretty well. We've visited some of the local towns and found some really nice pubs. Wednesday was when it all went wrong. We foolishly decided to take a look at TROWBRIDGE!
Back into the Dowsell-mobile (oh god, aaargh..) for a short drive then we park in the shopping centre car park. We should have realised what Trowbridge was like from the moment we discovered the local fashion for tracksuit bottoms worn low enough to show off an inch of flabby bum cleavage. Tanned and trim it might have been quite attractive, but dayglo white and wobbly - Nooooo...!!
While joking about the local sights we managed to take the wrong exit from the shopping centre and end up wandering a maze of back-streets before finding the high street. By now we're into full nightmare mode. We're on a rundown high street, full of chavs and there's not a pub in sight. Even the charity shops have abandoned Trowbridge.
Eventually we find the Courthouse, just off the high street. In most towns this pub would have been given the full M&S treatment and be packed with lunching shoppers and workers. Here in Trowbridge it's a basic alehouse with standard pub fare. Once we've eaten we get to enjoy the best bit of Trowbridge - the road out.
Back at the house we decide on another game of Agricola. This time Nick (red) appears to be building a country estate instead of a farm, with great synergy between his occupations and improvements. He wins in the end, but only by one point.
Thursday is going to be barbie day. The house has a nice big kettle barbeque and a previous renter has left us some charcoal. The Masson Man has a recipe for barbequed steak with a cream & mushroom, sauce. Before we go the pub for lunch he visits the local butcher and comes back with five large steaks. After lunch they're doused in a garlic marinade and left to stand while we play Caylus. I think Nick won this too.
While Dave grilled the steaks, Dowsell took over the veggies and prepared far too many. Dave also prepared about ten portions of cream & mushroom sauce to go with the steaks. Sure enough we scoff the lot, washed down with copious amounts of red wine. Afterwards we're too stuffed for anything except loafing on the comfy chairs watching Nicks collection of eighties pop videos downloaded from Youtube.
No Crets holiday photo album would be complete without a "Navel Manoevers" photograph. In this case, taken just after we crammed masses of empties into Rich's shiny Alfa for one final trip to the bottle bank. Don't forget to click on it.
